![]() Even after all of the pain and bleeding the night before, the scan confirmed that the miscarriage was ‘incomplete’. The next morning I had a scan at the hospital. I felt frightened and vulnerable, with only my poor husband to help me. I was in agony for over three hours until the pain eased off and then the bleeding started, which was like nothing I had experienced before. The cramps were manageable at first, but little did I know that later on that evening I would be on my hands and knees with terrible contractions. My husband was so gutted but he put a brave face on and focused on looking after me and our little one. I was booked in for a follow-up scan in four days’ time. They told me to go home, expect cramping and heavy bleeding. When you are told that your baby is no longer alive, one half of you wants the baby out of you and the other doesn’t ever want to let go. When we were told our baby was no longer alive Another D&C wasn’t an option so I opted to take medication to bring on the miscarriage. She told us she was very sorry, that I’d had another ‘missed miscarriage’ and we would need to decide what to do next. My mind was racing, I just couldn’t think straight. ![]() I looked at the screen and there was this tiny little life as still and quiet as anything. The midwife seemed to take ages to speak and then just said ‘I’m very sorry, your baby is only measuring eight weeks and there is no heartbeat’. We went to the hospital for a scan at ten weeks. I was so sick I could barely function and I got past seven, eight, nine weeks with no bleeding. In September 2010, I found out I was pregnant again. In ways, it was like I was trying to replace that baby with another one. In my mind if I could be pregnant again,then I would feel better. I was really sad that our much-wanted baby hadn’t made it but somehow I didn’t feel I had the right to grieve for a baby that never really developed. I had been ‘through the wars’ and for that reason the emotional side of things took a bit of a back seat. I can’t remember anyone saying to me that they were sorry for my loss. As my miscarriage was now classified as ‘incomplete’ I was given tablets to help my body pass everything with follow-up scans and blood tests to be done until ‘everything’ was gone. I left the hospital feeling absolutely battered and so fragile. Unfortunately, there was a complication during the D&C which meant it couldn’t be completed. I opted for a D&C because I just wanted it be over with, physically at least. I cried, but not as much as I expected myself to, I suppose I was all cried out by that stage to some extent. The doctor confirmed it as ‘a missed miscarriage’ and said that the baby ‘never really developed’. The repeat scan (at almost 9 weeks) now showed a pregnancy sac and a tiny baby in the womb, but no sign of life. ![]() Those ten days of waiting were like slow torture. I would have to wait ten days for a repeat scan to see if – in the doctor’s words ‘the pregnancy was viable’. I had a laparoscopy the next day, which thankfully confirmed it wasn’t an ectopic pregnancy. Another blood test showed the hormone levels were rising but not at the rate they should have been and following another internal scan, I was being treated for an ectopic pregnancy. They wanted to repeat my bloods in two days to check the progression of the hormones.īy later that evening the pains were very bad and I was admitted to hospital. The hospital rang a couple of hours later to say that my hormone levels were abnormal and they were a bit concerned that it might be an ectopic pregnancy. I HAD A blood test, was sent home and told to have a follow-up scan a week later.
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